Two months ago, I wrote about our extended family of 10 people sheltering in place together. Our numbers have gradually decreased, until I’m now living alone in the main house. A granddaughter who is an essential worker stays in the studio that has its own entrance and facilities. The restoration of silence and space brings its own gifts, but there is no doubt that it is more eventful and enriching to live with close-knit family in residence.
Friends call and ask, “How are you doing?” “As well as can be expected under the
circumstances,” I’m likely to reply. It
can be hard to distinguish how much of my response is influenced by the
pandemic, and how much is due to the status of my cancer. Here are my reflections on each.
By now, I’ve had three of the four planned Lutathera
radiation infusions to treat the metastatic spread of the cancer. My oncologist says that after the last
treatment takes place September 29 we will know more about my condition and
prognosis. The unpleasant GI side
effects are under better control. No pain is a good sign. I move slowly and stiffly and sometimes have
issues with memory and slight confusion.
Might be due to age as much as disease.
As I work on building exercise into my daily life, Ruth Bader Ginsberg
is my role model. My kids observe that I
still beat them at Scrabble and am capable of preparing a full meal complete
with homemade baked goods. My engagement in the community continues. I sense a strong life force within. My spirit is continually renewed by the
support of Andy, my family, faith communities and friends. And hope persists.
With respect to the pandemic, I admit to feeling
hug-deprived. Time-confused as days
blend into one another. Missing seeing
smiles as we go about masked. Longing to sit with friends in a restaurant and
be served. Depressed by the news full of
evidence of suffering, neglect, oppression, violence and manipulation. Disgusted by the stupidity, spinelessness,
partisanship and callousness of so many of our political figures. Fearful of the economic distress facing the unemployed and low wage
workers as we fail to invest in the social safety net or provide fair
compensation for essential workers. Yearning to have my grandchildren safely
back attending in-person school. Hoping
for the survival of small businesses in the community. Praying for a fair and free election with full
participation. And so much more.
I’m with many of
you in wondering if and when it will ever end.
And how will we know when it does? It’s not like we can sign a treaty
and declare a victory, a cessation of hostilities. Or mark the end in some ceremonial way. A vaccine will certainly mark progress, but
its effectiveness will depend on how many are willing to trust and be
vaccinated. The pandemic may seem to end
in phases, freeing different groups of people in waves—children, youth, people
of color, the healthy, the old, and immuno-compromised people at the last. Risks will still be there for a long
time. Tolerance for risks will vary
according to the advice of experts and the individual’s level of fear or sense
of caution. What if it never ends, only
shrinks and fades in imperceptible ways, leaving the person alone with
decision-making about re-entering social engagement?
And as we re-enter social life together, how will the
world have changed? What have we
learned? Are we willing to speak truth
to power? Find ways to promote nonviolent and meaningful change? Will we continue to commit to grappling with
racism and white supremacy? Will we pay
attention to the poor? Will we invest
again in public health? Will we build more affordable housing? Create and strengthen a network of community
mental health services? Re-orient our
approach to criminal behavior to emphasize problem-solving and restorative
justice? How will we support our public
safety officers so they can genuinely protect and secure communities? Can we achieve reasonable measures of gun
control? Learn to have civil
conversations in which we differ respectfully and listen to one another? Confront in ourselves and others tendencies
toward greed and self-centeredness? I
believe that it will take both kinds of commitment to reach the Beloved
Community: investment in personal
changes of habit and priorities, and investment in creating change in social
policies and institutions to promote a society based on peace and justice,
freedom and dignity for all people. End
of sermon, and let it be so. With guides
like John Lewis, and the energy of new young leaders willing to engage in “good
trouble”, it may come to pass.
Words of wisdom for these days:
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Blessing in the Chaos To all that is chaotic in you, let there come silence. Let there be a calming of the clamoring, a stilling of the voices that have laid their claim on you, that have made their home in you, that go with you even to the holy places but will not let you rest, will not let you hear your life with wholeness or feel the grace that fashioned you. Let what distracts you cease. Let what divides you cease. Let there come an end to what diminishes and demeans, and let depart all that keeps you in its cage. Let there be an opening into the quiet that lies beneath the chaos, where you find the peace you did not think possible and see what shimmers within the storm.
- Jan Richardson The Cure for Sorrow: A Book of Blessings for Times of Grief The Gates
of Hope “Our mission is
to plant ourselves at the gates of Hope— Not the prudent
gates of Optimism, Which are somewhat
narrower. Not the stalwart,
boring gates of Common Sense; Nor the strident
gates of Self-Righteousness, Which creak on
shrill and angry hinges (People cannot hear
us there; they cannot pass through) Nor the cheerful,
flimsy garden gate of But a different,
sometimes lonely place, The place of
truth-telling, About your own soul
first of all and its condition. The place of
resistance and defiance, The piece of ground
from which you see the world Both as it is and as
it could be As it will be; The place from which
you glimpse not only struggle, But the joy of the
struggle. And we stand there,
beckoning and calling, Telling people what
we are seeing Asking people what
they see.” Victoria Safford,
the minister of White Bear Unitarian Universalist Church, in Mahtomedi,
Minnesota (www.unitarian.org/whitebear)
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