Radioactive again

Help!  I’m being held prisoner in a bedroom!  Well, yes, it is my own bedroom with an attached bath.  Due to my new treatment and my radioactive status, I’m not allowed in the kitchen or near my grandchildren who are in other parts of the house.  Cathy or Michael and I communicate by cell phone when I need something. Old memory: I got my first mobile phone during the Katrina disaster.  Tucson was expecting a large number of displaced people, and we were setting up various services within different locations at the Convention Center.  It was essential to have cell phones to plan and network. Much more effective  than shouting.

Even my granddaughter Odyssey’s kitten, who loves to nap on my lap, is forbidden to be with me now.  We have observed that cats, unlike dogs, are unwilling to obey commands.  This independent kitty is Houdini-like in finding ways to disappear and reappear in any space she wants to occupy, so watching out for her antics keeps the rest of the family on their toes.

This confinement will last for 3 days, after which I still need to try to keep a distance of three feet from people for the next 14 days.  My clothes and towels need to be washed separately from the rest of the family.  Lots of precautions to keep everyone safe.  Before being allowed to leave the clinic my level of radioactivity had to be measured by a Geiger Counter to assure that it was low enough.  The machine looked ancient, but functional.

We met with my new oncologist last week by phone and yesterday, before the Lutathera treatment, on a video call.  I like him and the transition is happening smoothly.  We should know in a couple of weeks how effective the new treatment is.  I’m only the fourth person in Pima County to receive it. 

The 10 of us living together celebrated Passover and Easter  last week.  We observed these holidays in new and flexible ways, given the pandemic and its constraints.  Fortunately we are more concerned with the spirit of these occasions rather than orthodoxy.  Creativity rocks!  We also recognize how deeply we appreciate the value and importance of  family gatherings and traditions as part of the glue that sticks us together and affirms our identity.

I’ve found many rich resources online during the season of Lent and Easter, and resources shared by other faith traditions to help us through quarantining.  Prayers, stories of acts of kindness, music shared through the internet, educational seminars, all have nurtured my spirit.  I will include here one reflection that has helped me.

Blessing in the Chaos

To all that is chaotic

in you,

let there come silence.

Let there be

a calming

of the clamoring,

a stilling

of the voices that

have laid their claim

on you,

that have made their

home in you,

that go with you

even to the

holy places

but will not

let you rest,

will not let you

hear your life

with wholeness

or feel the grace

that fashioned you.

Let what distracts you

cease.

Let what divides you

cease.

Let there come an end

to what diminishes

and demeans,

and let depart

all that keeps you

in its cage.

Let there be

an opening

into the quiet

that lies beneath

the chaos,

where you find

the peace

you did not think

possible

and see what shimmers

within the storm.

- Jan Richardson

from The Cure for Sorrow: A Book of Blessings for Times of Grief