Gratitude

Walking slowly, watching out for any obstacles in the path ahead, my friend and I lamented that we hadn’t fully appreciated our bodies when we were younger.  Then we weren’t so stiff and we climbed stairs quickly and easily.  Could even touch our toes on a good day!  Now I’m grateful to be able to stand up and walk, however slowly.  Thank goodness for banisters, canes, walkers, wheelchairs, and other assistive devices that may be needed in the future. And kudos to those innovative people who are building wheelchairs designed for countries where the terrain is rocky and unstable—wheelchairs that can be locally produced using bicycle parts, for example, like the ARSOBO project in Mexico.

I don’t have a “bucket list”, although there are things I would enjoy doing soon, like taking a cruise with family or riding the train across Canada.  What I do have is a gratitude list:

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     Grandchildren:  Three of mine created a jar of vitamins for the soul—painted blue, it contains messages written on small scraps of paper.  I was instructed to  take one a day during my recovery from radiation treatments.  Some contained happy memories, others recommended movies to watch or books to read, others were affirmations.  All were full of love.

·       Good insurance:  My co-pays and deductibles have been reasonable under my Medicare Complete plan.  Twice the insurance company denied a request, but both times my doctor was able to get them to change their decision.

·       Friends and family and other caring folks:  I’ve received cards, calls, email messages, flowers, visits, and more.  In addition to prayers from individuals, my faith communities pray weekly for my healing as does a Sikh group a friend attends. My definition of prayer includes those who are holding me in the light or in their heart or in their minds or sending positive energy.

·       Modern and traditional medicine:  Although I may have complained about all the scans, scopes, and images, they were essential in developing my overall treatment plan.  It still amazes me how much an be learned from these tests, and new worlds are opening with research and experimentation in genetic interventions, stem cell treatments, and other forms of precision medicine.  I’ve also used acupuncture in my healing.

Of course, in addition to gratitude, I recognize regrets as well.  I keep no list, but they do come to mind at times during reflection and meditation.  Mostly, I regret the period in my life when I was giving more time to work than to family and self-care.  And not spending more time in nature. There are a few relationships where I wish I had been kinder or more patient or made different choices. The best thing to be done with regrets, I believe, is to learn from them, make amends where possible, and try not to repeat them.  And so we move forward with life.

Resources:

As the holidays approach—in my family this includes both Hanukkah and Christmas—I love listening to traditional music and also to fresh new songs such as Mary Chapin Carpenter’s “Come Darkness, Come Light” and Kathy Mattea’s “Mary, Did You Know” and “Emmanuel.” My CD’s by Odetta and Mahalia Jackson offer powerfully sung spirituals.  The blessings recited over the candles of the menorah are a reminder of the strength and comfort of ancient traditions.  Food also nourishes during the holidays.  My daughter Cathy makes especially delicious latkes, and we have a family tradition of baking special Christmas cookies to share with neighbors and friends.

Many advent resources have poems, art, prayers and messages to inspire us to focus on the Hope, Peace, Joy and Love of the season.  The materials developed by Sanctified Art are particularly meaningful.

For those of you reading this blog in December, may you enjoy the holidays and have a happy New Year.  More blog posts will follow in 2020, if not before.